A Piece of Thought

Today, The good news is, I'm getting married. I can't believe my self either! I'm 25, and I'm getting married, next month? Never in my imagination that I would married this early, I mean I used to think that I will get married around the end of my twenties, 27 or 28. But Alhamdulillah, I met my other half early hehe. My current feeling, honestly I'm nervous! My heart beats so fast, it feels like I'm consuming caffeine, even though I'm not. I'm also excited at the same time. I love him so much, and I can't wait for the day we could start our life together. I'm grateful that finally, I met someone that I truly love and he loves me back. I hope that everything is gonna be alright. I hope that everyone happy with our marriage, that we could love each other till the end of our life. I hope that happiness, blessed, healthiness, prosperity, Imaan, and love will surround us forever. Bismillah.

I've been in a complicated relationship since the late 2014. I've gone through upside down with him. Break up then in love again then break up again. It's just like a cicle. And the most important is that it's always him who did it. After break up I always feel like a desperate woman, unworthy, unhappy. But, I don't know why, I keep going back to him, and he always like that, sometimes hot and sometimes cold. I don't understand my self at all. When I am with him, I always feel the neediness, to be around him, I feel like I can't live without him. I feel weak, and reckless. I don't know whether he loves me or not, or it just because of he feel pity of me. He never like my parents, and he never try to make a further step, he just want to do what he likes to do. I always feel unindependent around him. My dreams become unimportant anymore when I'm with him. We have different view about life, about relationship, and everything. I always loo...

After 8 semesters studying in Yogyakarta, I finally graduated in August 2016. It’s been few months ago, yeah, it’s been a long time ago, I know. Drastically my status had been changed from a college student to a jobseeker, it’s the creepiest thing ever. Me at my graduation day So, how’s life? After my graduation day, I was super happy and excited. Finally I got my degree as an Engineering Physics graduate, I am going to find a job, and doing awesome things, that was my expectation. But, that happy story not stay in a long time. After graduation I’ve tried to apply for many companies probably hundreds of them, until I can’t remember what company I’ve been applied to. I came from one job selection to another job selection. And I still can’t get any good news. I feel kind of like frustrated, and underrated. I feel lost. Am I that bad? Well, the truth is, it’s very difficult for women to get a job in engineering field. Most of the vacancies just open for man. Boys got mo...

Aku berharap kebaikan selalu menyertaimu. Aku berdoa untukmu sebab aku mencintaimu. Sungguh, tak ada yang berubah dari perasaan ini. Jauh di dalam hatiku, masihlah kamu yang kucintai dengan kesungguhan hati. Aku tidak pernah pergi, meski kau belajar meninggalkanku. Aku masih di sini mendekap erat semua harapan seperti hangat pelukmu yang selalu melekat diingatanku. Biar kudekap segala resahku. Kamu tetaplah harus bahagia. Di dalam jiwaku kamu selalu ada, tak pernah ke mana-mana. Jika kelak, kamu lelah berlayar, aku akan tetap di sini. Berlabuhlah pada hatiku yang selalu mengarah ke hatimu. Kita akan bersama, hingga nanti, hingga kita tak mampu lagi menghitung hari. Meski kemungkinan yang paling menyakitkan, kau hanya menetap menjadi bagian hati (tidak beserta raga) sebagai seseorang yang aku cintai. Tak apa. Kamu masih akan menjadi seseorang yang penting bagiku. Aku lemah dalam melupakan. Aku tak pernah mampu menjauhkanmu dari benakku. Kau masih merajai langkah kakiku. Aku men...

   Hampir 4 tahun saya menimba ilmu disini, sungguh banyak kenangan yang terjadi, baik dengan teman, kakak tingkat, adek tingkat, sahabat, dosen, pengajaran, mantan pacar, bahkan dengan orang yang tidak kita kenal. Percakapan dengan seseorang tentang kenangan, membuat saya ingin menulis tentang ini.     Sedih rasanya, tiba-tiba kami, angkatan 2012 sudah berada di masa masa akhir kami, sudah jarang bertemu kawan, semua orang sudah terlihat sibuk dengan dirinya sendiri, mengejar cita dan mimpi masing-masing.       Roda kehidupan berputar, waktu berjalan, dan manusia bergerak, yang tertinggal hanya kenangan. Terkadang ingin rasanya memutar waktu merasakan kembali euphoria yang dulu pernah dirasakan, mungkin ada pula yang ingin kembali untuk dapat memperbaiki kesalahan di masa lampau. Tapi, hukum alam tak bisa seperti itu. Bergerak maju adalah satu satunya jalan.      Mulai hari ini, saya akan menjalani hidup tanpa rasa menyesal, me...

Today is my birthday HAPPY B'DAY to meeee.. I am 20 yo, I am getting old, A lot of things i am worry about, a lot of thing I must do, and I must achieve.. I don't write my born day on the facebook, so my friends and family won't know that today is my birthday. Are you still remember that today is my b'day guys? but I predict that only few people will know that today is my b'day. it's okay since I don't want to celebrate it. I don't know, 20 yo seems so scary to me, I am worrying a lot of things. I want this devade to be my turning point, I want to achieve my goal, I want to be success, I want to be happy....

Engineer. .. Apa yang ada di benak kalian ketika mendengar kata Engineer atau Insinyur? Pasti banyak yang membayangkan kalau Engineer itu adalah pekerjaan buat cowok, bukan buat cewek. Mainstream nya emang engineer itu buat cowok, tapi bukan berarti cewek ga bisa kan? Sering banget ditanya orang : orang yang nanya : A, aku : B A : Kuliah dimana mbak? B : UGM pak/bu/mas/mbak... A : Ohh UGM, jurusan apa? B : Teknik pak/bu/mas/mbak... A : Ohh Teknik (dengan muka rada syok gitu), Teknik apa? B : Teknik Fisika pak/bu/mas/mbak A : Ohh...Fisika...MIPA ya? #Gubrakkkk.. Emang sih, jurusanku rada absurd, dan kurang terkenal gitu. Udah Teknik, Fisika lagi, makanan apa coba?? dan aku, seorang perempuan, dengan ukuran tubuh pendek, dan cenderung terlihat lemah, sangat tidak meyakinkan untuk berkuliah di Fakultas Teknik. I got it everytime , suck yeaahh -_-  and after that I'll say, Yes Everyone I am a girl, and I am in progress to become an Engineer, just wait and see! bu...